JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
