i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
