oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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