I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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