No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
