What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
