he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
