Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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