just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
