She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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