love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Randomize
