I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
As shirtless as possible
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
