before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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