I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just gift wrapped bread.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize