theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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