Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
