After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
This girl is more easily done than said...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
