Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
