at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
