He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
even my farts smell like vagina
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
