Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
