Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize