I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
