I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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