the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
