a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
