Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
