I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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