Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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