I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
