Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
being pregnant is like rehab
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
