My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
