Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
