Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
