Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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