I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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