I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
