If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
