Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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