just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
