how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
