My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
They have beer where we have blood.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
