Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
