discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
