I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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