So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
operation have a gay friend backfired
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
