Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
