Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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