too bad you live with your parents still
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
