What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
