I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
