he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
