I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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