I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
