He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
