Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
