he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
