You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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