Where is the hickey?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
