i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
