found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
