Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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