Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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