If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
