i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
foreskin is a definite game changer
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
