I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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