Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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