I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
