Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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