there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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