Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize