Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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