with your own penis?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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