My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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