His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
