I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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