I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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