so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
