Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize