What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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