She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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