what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
