I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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